I heard a rustle outside my door and stepped back from the window where I had finished drying the window sill of water. I had left it open when I went to my cousin’s house and it had gotten the carpet soaked. The shadow of feet peered under the door, illuminated by the hallway light. Stepping back a few more feet, I tried to remain as quiet as possible. No one else was home, which means….he’d found me. One more step to the right and I would be able to crawl under the bed. I took the step and stumbled over the bedpost, knocking a few things off my dresser to catch myself. My eyes flew wide and I gasped in horror as I heard him chuckle. My door flew open and he stormed into the room a knife in his hand.
“Hey there,” he said stalking towards me on silent feet.
“Get out or I call the cops,” I sputtered.
“The phones are out because of the storm, good luck with that,” he said smiling deviously and taking another menacing step forward, flipping the knife between his fingers. I looked around the room for something to protect myself and remembered the open window. The rain pattered lightly on the window sill so I ran for it and flung myself from the window.
My room sat on the first floor of the apartment building so I didn’t fall more than five feet. I landed with a thud in a puddle of icy cold water on the concrete and the wind was knocked from my lungs. I saw him out of my periphery as he struggled to fit his muscular form out of my window. Taking off down the street at a dead sprint I looked around for a sign of life. A light in a window, a car driving by, anyone to help me.
There was nothing. I began to scream at the top of my lungs for help and heard his footsteps gaining on me from behind. A few seconds and he would have me. I pushed my legs to carry me farther, but you can only run so fast when it’s freezing outside. His hand grabbed the back of my sweater and I shrieked once before I was knocked unconscious. I awake the room was pitch black all around me. Besides a crack from the covered window that bled out light. I was chained up to a pole by my hands. My cloths where gone and it was freezing. I tried to stand because the ground felt like burning ice touching my bare skin. Then a door opened. A silhouette through the draining light, it was big and stone like. It walked closer step by step I could tell it wasn’t him. He wasn’t the man I thought knocked me down. The shape of his body was smaller than the other man’s. Suddenly a light shattered on and my eyes burned from the flash. I closed my eyes from the brightness of the light that was now making my head spin. What had happened? The man from the door way chuckled but it’s a sound I never would want to hear again. It was menacing and evil.
“You look no different from 2 years pas”, his voice like gravel. I tried to speak but my mouth was so dry nothing came out. I just sat there not wanting to see who this man was, I turned my head the other way, and “You don’t remember me do you? No, I didn’t think so. You see I am…how could I put this. Um a sign, I guess? I mean let’s face it you did what you had to do right? So now it’s my turn.” he grumbled as he took a step back. The thumping shook the ground.
I don’t know who this man can be and I don’t want to. I can’t remember anything from 2 years ago. Only that I was in the hospital for month but I don’t remember why. I can’t stand not knowing. I open my eyes slowly and see his back towards me. His arms are big with sleeves of tattoos all over. He slowly turns around and we make eye contact instantly. It hurts to see his eyes so angry and violent. I know he is going to kill me. He walked closer, his face a puzzle with emotion. I looked away trying to block the appearance from my view. Only a glimpse of his face was what I got and a flash of horrible memories and nightmares flooded my head. I remember now, it was about 2 years ago, I was fifteen by that time. I was young and stupid; the details are vague. I needed to get out of here. I had to figure out a way to escape. He stared at me his eye burning through my head. What should I do? What can I do, nothing, nothing at all? I couldn’t stand to look at him so I looked around the room trying to understand where I am. It looks like a basement, there is room blocked off in the back of the concrete area. I guess he had noticed me looking.
“You will soon enough get to stay in there, but not until I can trust you. Agreed?” his voice demanding for a reply. I was furious he can’t treat me like a dog I don’t belong in a caged up place. He just can’t do this.
His voice sharp, “I said do you agree!”
I didn’t want to answer. I couldn’t answer my mouth so dry. He stepped closer nearly hovering over me. Then I saw his hand fly high, and storm down in the direction of my face. I tried to block it but he was too fast. A sharp, piercing pain struck through my skull. I thought if I held myself together he would leave. He didn’t, because that’s not what he wanted. He wants’ the satisfaction that he hurt me. I won’t give it to him, I refuse to. I hold it in, knowing that if he wanted it bad enough he could just strike again and he would get it, but I stayed strong. Not wanting to show fear, I looked straight into his eyes. Dark, as though he has found his prey and is just stalking it until it’s time for the kill. Then unexpectedly he starts to smile. He starts to stand up, but then stops. Looking me up and down, he straightens his back and walks away. Out the door as if he lost interest. Hopefully that was the case.
Weeks go by; I know they are looking for me. I hope they are at least. Every second of every minute of every hour of every day that passes by I pray I will survive this. Throughout the weeks he has beaten me but every time I stayed strong. After he would just smile and walk away. Once I saw the door close I cried but I didn’t ball I didn’t wail because I know if I did then he would hear and that would be exactly what he would want. I just tear, and let it out silently. My eyes had burned from the flashing of light and the ocean like tears streaming down my face. Then one day I broke.
“I just want to go home! Please I promise I won’t tell anybody this happened! Please, I just want to leave!” I screamed for hours and hours until it just became a whisper “please will you please let me go.”
I began to grow tired but I knew I needed to stay awake. I didn’t trust them, none of them. He is not alone, he has helpers I can tell but they don’t talk at all. They bring food or guard me but that’s it nothing else. The only person that speaks to me is him. I can’t stand this place anymore. I think in going crazy. I know I’m going crazy. My eyes begin to weigh down. My body shutting down, I was exhausted and tired. Then I gave in.
Statistics say that dreams only last seven seconds or shorter, but they seem longer because of all the detail going through your mind. Waking up in a white room screaming at the top of my longs I knew, this was no dream at all. It was a nightmare, but not something just made up in my sleeping head. It was a memories suppressed from the past. They are memories that I relive night after night, always ending with a scream. That’s why I’m here you see the monster the man in my dream, it was not man at all just a figment of imagination. For what happened realistically that was my own doing. I make stories in my head of what could have put me in the place with white al all around, but the truth the real truth. It was all me, all of it. I just don’t know it yet.